I don’t know what my readership is like these days, but if you’re reading this: hello and I love you very much my little snookums, goo goo gaga my sweet little reader!!! LOL.

I haven’t been able to publish here as often as I’d like. There are a couple reasons that explain my absence:

The first reason is that I’ve been off of social media for long enough now (over 2 years!!!) that I’m not quite as tapped into the zeitgeist as I once was. That’s a blessing and a curse. My brain is a lot less crowded with useless shit, and I’m not wasting hours of my life on mindless short-form content (I used to blink and miss large chunks of my life, so uncool). On the other hand, I sometimes feel a bit disconnected from the People, and I’ve missed out on countless memes (I didn’t even hear about those billionaires dying in a submarine til months after it happened smh). It’s hard to call it all “useless” shit, cuz a lot of what I would see and read about on socials ended up being fodder for the things I’d write about here. I’ve bridged the gap a little with RSS feeds and email newsletters (damn near gave y’all 5000 words on Sam Bankman-Fried plotting the assassination of Trump, you better open your 4th eye!!!) but I definitely miss the magic of getting hot and cold takes in real time. I also used to post links to these articles on Twitter which is……honestly where all my traffic came from lol so it was starting to feel like screaming into a void. I’m thinking of making this into an email newsletter as a way to keep up with old friends, or maybe I’ll just stare into the abyss like Freaky Freddie Neetzsche said I don’t got time for spell check rn y’all know what I’m on!!!

The second reason I’ve been away so long is kinda related to all that. What motivated me to put down my phone and reclaim my time (word to Maxine Waters lmao if that reference doesn't prove I been off socials idk what will) is that for the past 18 months I’ve been pursuing my adolescent dream of making a feature-length documentary!!! Y’all know I love me some cinema, I’ve written about it here and here and here. I’m currently at a 74-minute rough cut, which feels absolutely surreal. It’s still extremely rough around the edges, and I have no clue how much longer it’ll take to get it across the finish line, but I feel so utterly grateful to have received support from some great organizations so far (True/False & Catapult Film Fund, IPMF, CAAM, Scribe Video Center, BlackStar).

My life has been deeply enriched by engaging with films from around the world. I grew up in a humble family without a lot of means, so travel wasn’t something that I got to experience very often. It was through cinema that I got to expand my worldview, and learn about this fascinating planet of ours and the precious lives unfolding on it. Cinema has given me so much, I figure it's time I give a little back.

I recently heard an African virologist on a newscast, an older man probably in his 60’s or 70’s. He was there to talk about a recent Zika outbreak. The host introduced him as Dr. So-And-So, and noted that he had been studying viruses for over four decades. The doctor said in response, in an endearing West African accent, “Yes I’ve been studying viruses. But the viruses, they’ve been studying me too!” and gave a big belly laugh.

And so that’s the bargain I’m making - logging off and letting my ideas gestate in hopes that when I return, I’ll have something worthwhile to contribute. The risk, of course, is that by the time I complete the work I’ll be out of touch w/ the cultural context into which it’ll be born. It’s a risk I’m willing to take, because between you and me, the satisfaction is in the making, not the film itself. Similar to the African virologist, I’ve been making this film, but the film has been making me too! Hahahaha.