After a year spent on the brink of WWIII, I, in my vast wisdom, have decided to further destabilize the global geopolitical climate.
People often paint the world order in broad strokes. There’s the “First World” and the “Third World”, or nowadays “the Global North” and “the Global South”. But if you dig a bit deeper, there are a handful of nations that defy that simple categorization. Politicos refer to them as the "BRICS" nations, an acronym referring of the five foremost “emerging economies” on the planet: Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa. These nations relate to one another and other world powers in complex ways. I decided to simplify it.
At the start of the year I met with the heads of state of these five nations on Mt. Shoya. We sat at a massive round table for dinner: Lula ordered the curried goat, Xi ordered the Caesar salad, Ramaphosa ordered the falafel gyro, Modi ordered the smoked salmon, and Putin ordered the hot wings. There were eleven chairs at the table, the six of us sat like dining philosophers with empty chairs between us.
When dinner was cleared, I made the announcement:
ME: At the end of this month, you will formally declare a supranational union between your nations. You wil consolidate all economic, political, and military organizations under one flag.
The leaders looked at one another, baffled.
ME: You will also invite four more nations to join this new body.
I rang a small bell. From the shadows, the heads of state of Qatar, Uruguay, Angola, and Djibouti emerged. They sat amongst their peers. Only one seat remained empty then, directly to my right.
ME: And as the supreme leader of this alliance, the individual who will wield unspeakable power…
The leaders all puffed out their chests and straightened their appearance, preparing to accept the honor.
A string quartet began to play the opening phrase of
Hard In Da Paint.
ME: You will name Waka Flocka Flame as Secretary General.
Waka entered and sat in the remaining seat. His demeanor was stern, he examined the others closely, one by one.
WAKA: (sotto voce) BRICSQUAD.
Ard so welcome to Vol. 4 I’m getting a late start this year cuz I was yehmean getting to the money like I do!!! Actually that’s a lie I just been crying a lot, life is hard.