I never intended to publish this, but demons don't die in the dark.

Back in November, I sent a henchman reporter down to cover the Million MAGA March in Washington D.C. (media magnaaate haha I'm a media magnate :* <3).

That reporter, who has requested to remain anonymous for reasons that may become clear, accidentally conducted an interview with an extremely powerful individual, a key architect of the American right-wing militia machine.

The reporter approached this legendary man -- who was wearing a red flannel shirt, his ass crack mostly covered by khaki cargos -- entirely at random.

Below is their conversation, unedited.

Excuse me, sir, can I ask you a few questions about the demonstration?Shoot.So, which MAGA are you?The millionth one.Ah, I see. And how many of y'all are there?A million.Oh, wow. So you're like, the Ultimate MAGA?That's my official title, yes.Okay.Okay.Who ranks higher though, you or Q?

By the reporter's account, that question caused the man to scoff, roll his eyes, and detonate an impact smoke bomb. From the smoke, per that reporter's account, a taller body double emerged dressed in exactly the same clothing as the Ultimate MAGA.

Naw but I still really can't believe they lost that union drive though that broke my heart.