I know that last time I promised to double back and fill y'all in on exactly how I was removed from the company at the height of Doom Summer, and how I eventually regained control. So, what follows is the secret history of the most moneyed, most consequential hostile takeover ever to take place.

Part I: The Descent

Ard so boom, a few months ago I'm sitting in a spacious, glassy boardroom in an undisclosed (for now) location like I usually do: feet up on the table with the wool Carhartt socks in the visvim sandals, custom black Paradox hoodie and sweats with real blue VVS1 diamonds in the logos, holding a iPhone 21 Max up to my ear.

The table is long and seats a dozen suits, each silhouetted with a leather folio open in front of em.

ME: Wait, the rainforest or the company? Matter fact it don't even matter, buy it.

I get up and move over towards the balcony, giving the ☝️ to everybody else in the room. I lean my hand against the glass and look through the window as I continue my convo. One of the suits clenches his fist on the table.

ME: Unionize? What you mean like, get married?

Next second I got a black canvas bag over my head and a tranquilizer in my neck smfh.

So obviously from here it's a lil fuzzy for me cuz I'm going in and outta consciousness. The first time I really come to, they got me chained to a round stone table, sprawled out like the Vitruvian Man, surrounded by a bunch of shadowy bald-head skittle diddles. They all chanting words from the [REDACTED––PROPRIETARY], I'm like 'aw fuck', I start feeling my Corporate Chakra open up, and the last thing I see before I black out again is a ball of grey-green-purple light rising outta my torso.

Next time I wake up, it's loud as shit, I'm in the back of a four-seater propeller plane tied up neck to toe like a damn cartoon character. I look out the window and all I see is ocean in every direction before I doze off. I wake up again later on, this time long enough to peep the mercenaries guarding me, each of em fully outfitted with tactical gear and weapons by Shoya Materiel (ain't that a bitch?). Just before I doze off this second time, I see Christ the Redeemer off in the distance.

Next thing I knew I was waking up in a field of grass in the middle of nowhere smelling real bovine. I straight got up and started walking.

Eventually I stumbled into a humble lil bar.

ME: Teléfono?

The barkeeper points to it at the other side of the room. I go over, pick the receiver off the hook, and start dialing a 50-digit number off top (barkeeper looking at me like I'm nuts lol).

While it's ringing, I'm shrugging the receiver to my ear and picking diamonds outta my hoodie. The call connects:

ME: Oldie, it's me. I gotta get the squad back together.
OLDIE (THROUGH RECEIVER): ………..
ME: Oldie?
OLDIE: You sure you wanna do that…?
ME: Ain't no other way, Oldie!!!!!
Pause.
OLDIE: What's the word?
ME: Shoyariiight.
OLDIE: Streets is watching.
ME: Shoyariiight.
OLDIE: Never ever?
ME: Shoyawrong.

I hear a longer pause then a husky sigh. I know he was hoping this day wouldn't come.

OLDIE: Imma send you whatever numbers I got. Besides that it's mostly addresses, you know how it is.
ME: One.

I hang up the phone, put some diamonds on the bar and dip.

Part. II: Zuff Shoya & The Shoyarights

– A phone rings in Dubai, UAE –

BS: مرحبا (Hello)
ME: معاك أنا (It's me)
BS: …….هههههه (Lmaoooooo)

Click! (I get bung on.)

– A phone rings in Okinawa, Japan –

S-K: もし もし (Hello)
ME: それは私です (It's me)

Click! (Bung on again.)

– I'm at a diner in New York City, USA –

I'm sitting at an outdoor table, wearing a medical mask and sunglasses, tryna look lowkey. A waiter approaches my table, wearing a mask and apron, carrying a pot of coffee. She pours some in a fresh mug and sets it in front of me.

I take my shades off.

ME: Any chance y'all accept these?

I sprinkle a few diamonds on the table.

As soon as she sees my eyes she SHATTERS the pot of hot coffee over my head and runs off in the middle of her shift lmfaooo.

Yeah so obviously my folks wasn't feeling me and, yehmean, I don't blame em. But to make a long story short, about a month later I was able to convince most of em (I'll make formal introductions some other time) to help me on my mission to get the company back.

We all gathered in a safehouse, plotting around a map of the Bermuda Triangle that shows an island where traditional maps only show water.

Bout a month after that, we all get locked and loaded and jump on a speedboat cutting waves in the Caribbean – six highly-trained, highly-skilled individuals yehmean just picture that.

As we get close, we see it off in the distance: Mt. Shoya, an artificial landmass in the shape of a mountain, made up entirely of skyscrapers packed tightly together, an engineering miracle, a megalopolis clusterfuck of money and power. Home, sweet home.

By the time the coastline is in sight, three armed guards on jet skis are already approaching our boat. They circle it and tighten in.

None of us are on the boat.

I'll spare y'all the rest of the details I know a lot of y'all be playing video games and shit y'all know how it went. A few flash grenades, some AR stutters, and boom I'm back in action.

Anyway y'all like that debate I put together for y'all last night? It was just for show though, I already picked the winner last year.

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