The corporation's main pharmaceutical subsidiary, Pill Pills Pills Pharmeceutics dba P3 Pharma (formerly Merck & Co., renamed after its acquisition in an homage to Destiny's Child) is set to begin clinical trials with its vaccine in the coming weeks, testing primarily on white suburban teenagers.

Shoya, Inc. has also provided increased funding to another of its pharmaceutical holdings, Ligma Ltd., in an effort to spur competitive haste. The CEO of Shoya, Inc. "pinky-swears" not to price gouge once a vaccine becomes viable, which he claims will take "bro 3 months max frfr" despite expert projections of 18+ months.

...ard that's about as much satire as I can stomach right now. I lie to y'all not I'm quarantined in the crib w/ two dudes named Malik and a pull-up bar...so yehmean jailhouse physique loading obviously, but the cost is too high God!

I know this situation ain't for play but after a month of being quiet about it all, I thought I should start tryna chart a course to some new normal. I hope some of y'all are thinking of doing the same, cuz whenever this passes, and even before then, we got our work cut out.

Anyway if any of y'all got my line and feeling blue, feel free to call me I can sing you any track off that new Biebs for some levity.