As the 2020 primaries begin, you might find yourself laughing at Buttigieg or Klobuchar or anybody from Iowa. Ha-ha.

But if you're taking these elections very super seriously -- as I am -- you might be looking for thoughtful and pointed remarks about the possible outcomes in American "democracy".

You might find yourself seeking out commentary from legendary philosopher and activist Noam Chomsky on the (in)significance of the impeachment trials, or the prospects of a Bernie Sanders presidency -- at which point, you're likely to discover a fact that's far more exciting, far more consequential than who receives the Democratic nomination.

That fact is: Noam Chomsky is growing out his Sunni.

If you're not a Black person from Philadelphia, accept this gift, for context (courtesy of WHYY, s/o my boo Terry Gross).

I don't think I need to illustrate the gravity of this development (not that I'd know how), but it makes me wonder: what might be the ramifications here? What does it bode that Chomsky is finally putting his facial follicles to good use?

Prior to this occasion, Chomsky easily ranked among the top-ten greatest Philadelphians who have ever lived. Now, I can say without hesitation that he has planted himself firmly in the top-five.

Who knows how many copies of Manufacturing Consent they would have sold had he been letting his shit rock from the beginning?

Be it a good or a bad omen, all I know is that somebody better get my dog some Amber White right now.